Conflict management styles

Conflict management assessments

It can be helpful to understand the style of conflict management that a manager uses.

During the interview process, a conflict management quiz can highlight which prospective employees are effective in their conflict management and resolution, and which need some work.

Generally, a conflict management assessment will ask managers to rate on a scale of 1 to 5 how often they would do a specific action.

Using this information, an organization can decide if pursuing conflict management training is necessary. For this type of quiz, there should be between 15 and 30 questions to give a holistic view of the person’s conflict management skills.

Conflict management styles quiz

Rate how often you use the following types of actions on a scale of 1 to 5:

1. When there is an argument, I will leave the situation as quickly as possible
2. In conflicts, I discuss the situation with all parties to try and find the best solution
3. I use negotiation often to try and find a middle ground between the conflicted parties
4. I know the best path to take and will argue it until others see that I am correct
5. I prefer to keep the peace, rather than argue to get my way
6. I will keep disagreements to myself, rather than bring them up
7. I find it best to keep communication active when there is a disagreement, so I can find a solution that works for everyone
8. I enjoy disagreements and find satisfaction in winning them
9. Disagreements make me anxious and I will work to minimize them
10. I am happy to meet people halfway
11. It is important to me to recognize and meet the expectations of others
12. I pride myself on seeing all sides of a conflict and understanding all of the issues involved
13. I enjoy arguing my case until the other side concedes that I am correct
14. Conflict does not engage me, I prefer to fix the problem and move on to other work
15. I don’t feel the need to argue my point of view, it is less stressful to agree with others

Tips:

• Questions 1, 6 and 9 illustrate an avoidant style
• Questions 5, 11 and 15 illustrate an accommodating style
• Questions 3, 10 and 14 illustrate a compromising style
• Questions 4, 8 and 13 illustrate a competing style
• Questions 2, 7 and 12 illustrate a collaborative style

Add up your scores for each style, and this will show you the styles that you most rely on.

How to manage conflict

1. Be calm and try to establish a dialogue

Remaining calm is a staple of any successful conversation, especially if you’re dealing with contentious issues.

When you’re managing conflicts within the workplace, your demeanor is the first step, how you bond with those dealing with conflict is the next.

It can be difficult to build rapport whilst simultaneously resolving issues, but you’ll find it makes the entire process much easier and helps you bring both sides to reach a resolution that everyone feels good about.

In short, if there’s no dialogue, you have no chance of resolving conflict.

To create this open conversation required to resolve a conflict, you need to empathize with the person you’re speaking to, and create a sort of bond.

While you may not agree with what they’re saying, you can still accept it. Accept their views and opinions for what they are, and move forward with your new insight.

Remember, any kind of conflict, even those in which you’re not involved can be stressful to deal with. As humans, our instinct is to avoid those situations that make us feel uncomfortable and anxious.

However, as the mediator, this is an occasion to which you must rise. Rather than envisioning the problems that may occur, try to create a vision for yourself in which you feel incredible relief and satisfaction at conquering this hurdle.

2. Don’t take any sides

In short: remain neutral while you talk to both parties and investigate the issue, even if the problem seems rather forthright in the beginning.

Any conflict can cause hostility, and it’s important to show that you’re a neutral third party. While maintaining a calm demeanor, you should also be careful not to show either party preference.

Even if it seems that one person is right, you need to avoid showing your opinion. Remember, your job is to be a mediator that helps resolve the conflict.

Even when one person becomes frustrated, you must strive to maintain a placid appearance. If you, yourself, become frustrated or impassioned, it will be even more difficult for the people having the conflict to calm down and resolve their differences.

It can be especially hard not to take sides when one of the people involved in the conflict is, themselves, a manager or supervisor.

For instance, an employee may feel as though a supervisor is unfairly targeting them for disciplinary action- their peers are late all the time, but their peers are never spoken to about being late when the employee themselves is always reminded when they’re tardy.

The reason behind this may actually be that the supervisor shows certain employees favoritism- however, it may also be the case that the employee in question has a much longer record of being late (perhaps 5-10 times in their career) while the others have simply been tardy a couple of times.

In some cases, it would be good to bring HR into the conversation, especially when the conflict occurs with an employee’s manager.

3. Investigate the origins and source of the conflict

This can certainly be one of the most difficult aspects of managing conflict in the workplace. As with any disagreement, chances are that every person involved has their own perspective on what happened, and who is right.

The really difficult task behind this isn’t necessarily defining the action that caused both parties to hit a boiling point- rather, it’s determining what the true issue at hand is, and if there are other things that have led this one point to become a large issue.

For instance, one person may start shouting at a co-worker over delegating the majority of a project budget to software development. However, chances are that the budget isn’t the only issue simmering below the surface for these two co-workers. Project budgets aren’t simple, but they’re rarely the sole reason for an extreme conflict between two people- often, many people are involved in these decisions. In a case like this, one co-worker may feel slighted because the other takes credit for shared work, refuses to do their part of the paperwork, etc. The budget just happens to be the breaking point.

Depending on where the conflict in question takes place, and the duration, you may need to also speak to other employees. Find as many credible sources as you need to in determining the cause.

4. Talk to both sides

For this step, you should talk to both parties separately, in a private place where you won’t be overheard.

Depending on what each party says started the conflict, you may even need to circle back to clarify some parts of the story.

Sometimes you can speak to both parties together, although it’s best to avoid an initial discussion with both people at once. People may not feel comfortable speaking openly with the other person in the room.

You may need to take notes on each person’s version of the conflict. Remember, even though you’re speaking to both people individually, you still need to retain an impartial attitude so neither one feels as though you’re taking sides.

Ask each person what caused the conflict, if there have been past conflicts, and get their opinions on how to resolve the situation and prevent future issues.

After meeting with the employees in conflict, you may also need to discuss the conflict and the plan to resolve it with relevant management members. This keeps everyone informed, and allows managers and supervisors to help ensure each party keeps up their end of the deal.

5. Identify how the problem can be solved

After finding the true origins of the conflict, you need to search for a solution.

In an ideal situation, you can find a solution that suits each party equally well. For instance, if both parties are arguing over desk space, consider moving their placement in the office for an easy resolution. In this case, both parties are expected to move, so neither person feels as though they’re singled out.

In other cases of smaller conflicts, simply having each person apologize and move on can be an agreeable solution.

Unfortunately, finding a mutually agreeable solution isn’t always possible.

This can happen If one employee is clearly instigating conflict, for instance, in such a case you may need to ‘write them up’ or put them on a disciplinary notice or a behavioral performance improvement plan (PIP).

Of course, this all depends on the severity of the conflict (for instance, if an employee is consistently demeaning and disrespectful to others).

It’s a good idea to independently ask each party what they feel an adequate and fair solution would be and try to incorporate each idea into your solution.

6. Try to find a common goal and agree on the solution

While it’s your job to determine the solution, you still need each party to agree to the solution.

This may involve you explaining the benefits of the agreement if one employee is more reluctant. However, as long as you find a fair solution, it should be possible to reason with each party and get them to agree to move forward and work toward a common goal.

Specify what each employee is expected to do as their part of the conflict resolution, so each party will know what the next step is, and what they need to do.

7. Review how the agreed decision was implemented

Now you can gather both parties together and discuss the action everyone will take to resolve the conflict.

It should now be clear what is expected of each party, and why the decision is made.

As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” This is a good way to think of your conflict resolution. Some problems are easier to fix, and others may take a long time. However, you shouldn’t expect everyone to agree and then assume all future problems will disappear.

Plan to check in with each party, and their supervisors (assuming the direct supervisor isn’t involved in the conflict, and if they are, contact higher management and/or HR for their feedback).

Remind each party of their obligations under the original agreement, and ask their opinion of the progress thus far, and if the conflict has truly been resolved.

Asking supervisors after speaking to the two parties in contention can help you get a more unbiased assessment of the progress and whether each person is keeping up their end of the deal.

8. Find how to avoid such conflicts in the future

Every conflict is an opportunity to learn, and to create a better workplace for tomorrow.

The solution you find to avoid future conflicts will depend heavily on the conflict you just helped resolve.

Certain conflicts, such as personal problems between employees (these may extend to, or originate outside of, the workplace) are best resolved by keeping the employees at a distance from one another and having both agree to keep a professional attitude at work.

Other conflicts, such as those over shared spaces or equipment, can be good learning opportunities to avoid similar situations in the future. For example, if two employees have a disagreement about shared company property, consider implementing a sign-up sheet that allows employees to reserve a timeslot to use these resources.

Or, if employees have a conflict over space, you might consider rearranging some parts of the office, when practical, to create a layout that better suits productivity.

Summary

Each style is useful, depending on the situation, but as mentioned above, some are weaker than others and should not be relied upon too heavily.

Conflict is an unavoidable reality in the workplace. Smart organizations know this and prepare their management with the proper conflict management skills to handle and resolve workplace conflicts quickly and peacefully.